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Worst Movies Of 2008

January 5, 2009
Worst Movies Of 2008
 
Heather’s Picks
 
1335920246_lHere are the worst of 2008.  Those bad enough that I want to scream and warn you to run as far away from these titles as possible without a viewing.  Personally, I’ve seen better film on teeth.  If anyone can nail that quote I will give you a cookie.  When it comes to my reviews of the terribly bad I sometimes stray away from writing a professional review and rant a bit, and while it’s not as eloquently written, the reviews tend to be on the funny side.  So Finally, here is the list you’ve been waiting for!
 
6. Strange Wilderness
 
thumbsdownWith a hilarious cast and Happy Madison productions backing it up Strange Wilderness appeared to be a movie that would be overflowing with the funny.  It wasn’t.  In fact it was desperately boring, and now I feel lesser for having wasted my time viewing it.  Steve Zahn  has a great knack for playing a stoner with a dry sense of humor, which suited him fine for this role, but as the lead character reminiscing about this tale, he comes off as too stupid to put a sensible thought together.  His outrageous idea’s and behavior in regards to the Wilderness show he hosts goes past being over the top and funny and into the realm of too offensive to even have one blink of sanity.  To believe the preposterous story isn’t even possible.  Even in the universe created by the director and writer. Fore more Read Here!
 
5. 27 Dresses
 
Apparently all you have to do these days to find true love is take your hair out of a ponytail and put some makeup on.  Voila!  No more bridesmaid!  You’ll finally be a bride.  This may not have been a direct message in 27 Dresses but it was one of the many visual supporting qualities that contradicted the con-deluded theme that this film presented on the surface.  Outwardly it’s presenting one truth to you while subsequently offering an entirely different ideal behind it. For More Read HERE!
 
4. Day Of The Dead
 
Day Of The Dead is a remake of the 1985 version where the world is overrun by viscous flesh eating zombies.  In this adaptation a brother and sister named Sarah and Trevor (Mena Suvari and Micheal Welch) are separated in their small town in Colorado as an angry outbreak of the flu has become air born.  As sick people flock to the local hospital it becomes clear it is no ordinary flu.  Something is killing the people of the town and turning them into flesh craving monsters.  Sarah, who is in the army, meets up with a small group of people including another officer named Salazar, played by Nick Cannon.  Hiding in the radio station across town Trever and his girlfriend watch terrified as the town is devoured and changed.  It seems like there is no hope and no one will survive.  For more READ HERE!
 
3. Meet The Spartans
 
Meet The Spartans was unfortunately the pathetic disaster advertised by critics and peers alike.  Instead of rising above some of the more recent parody films like Epic Movie, Meet The Spartans only managed to fall into the same dismal attempt at unoriginal, unfunny jokes, while not even having the ability to conceive an original story out of 300’s plot line.  It stuck exclusively to the basics 300 set and never bothered to waiver from it.  The film never rose above a sarcastic friend commenting on the film while sitting next to you on the couch.  For more READ HERE!
 
2. 10,000 B.C.
 
thumbs-downSynopsis 

Prehistoric man’s love is taken to be a slave for crazy Pharaoh in far off land.  Prehistoric man searches for woman and fights great battles and prehistoric foes.  There is lots of CGI and little dialogue.  There is almost a battle at the end.
Review
I tried to write a synopsis but the smart part of my brain couldn’t say much more than a sentence or two because that was all I could muster without criticizing any aspect of it.  What I expect from a Roland Emmerich film is very little.  I wager there will be superficial character’s with a paper thin plot and mediocre dialogue that will offer an occasional laugh if delivered by a good enough actor.  Most importantly there is excellent CGI and action sequences to distract from the simplistic story being told before you.  Emmerich is one of the few directors who can pull this off and generally come up with a reasonable movie that’s harmless enough to not mind that it’s kind of dumb.  For more READ HERE!
 
1. Witless Protection
 
Admittedly I only suffered a viewing of this movie because my husband begged to rent it.  I enjoy Larry the Cable Guy’s stand up, and his previous film “Larry The Cable Guy” had inadvertent moments of funny to offer.  A few beers and it’s not a half bad movie.  Nonetheless, an entire case of beer wouldn’t have encouraged a moment of laughter from Witless Protection.  As a viewer you know going in this is no Academy Award winning film, and you also know you aren’t going to get Adam Sandler and Mike Myers talent of making successful and good offensive comedies.  You expect the campy overdone mockery of Tremors 2 or 3 and that was what I was looking for.  Each of those were worthy of best picture nominations next to Witless Protection.  In fact there have been adult films made with more of a plot, better soundtrack, and even better acting. For more READ HERE!
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