Director Kevin Smith Remembers George Carlin

Courtesy Scott Mosier

“A God Who Cussed”

Newsweek

Written By: Special Guest Columnist Kevin Smith

They say you should never meet your heroes.  I’ve found this a good rule to live by, but as with any rule, there’s always an exception.

My first exposure to George Carlin was in 1982, when HBO aired his “Carlin at Carnegie” stand-up special. When I saw the advert—featuring a clip of Carlin talking about the clichéd criminal warning of “Don’t try anything funny,” and then adding, “When they’re not looking, I like to go …,” followed by a brief explosion of goofy expressions and pantomime—I immediately asked my parents if I could tape it on our new BetaMax video recorder.

That was a hilarious bit. But when I finally watched the special, Carlin blew my doors off. Whether he was spinning a yarn about Tippy, his farting dog, or analyzing the contents of his fridge, Carlin expressed himself not only humorously, but amazingly eloquently as well. I was, as they say, in stitches.

And that was before he got to the Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television.

I was 12 years old, watching a man many years my senior curse a blue streak while exposing the hypocrisy of a medium (and a society) that couldn’t deal with the public usage of terms they probably employed regularly in their private lives. And while he seemed to revel in being a rebel, here was a man who also clearly loved the English language, warts and all—even the so-called “bad words” (although, as George would say, there are no such things as “bad words”). I wouldn’t say George Carlin taught me obscenities, but I would definitely say he taught me that the casual use of obscenities wasn’t reserved just for drunken sailors, as the old chestnut goes; even intelligent people were allowed to incorporate them into their everyday conversations (because George was nothing if not intelligent).

From that moment forward, I was an instant Carlin disciple. I bought every album, watched every HBO special, and even sat through “The Prince of Tides” just because he played a small role in the film. I spent years turning friends on to the Cult of Carlin, the World According to George, and even made pilgrimages to see him perform live (the first occasion being a gig at Farleigh Dickinson University in 1988). Carlin influenced my speech and my writing. Carlin replaced Catholicism as my religion.

Sixteen years later, I sat across from the star of “Carlin at Carnegie” in the dining room of the Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles. It was a meeting I’d dreamed of and dreaded simultaneously. George Carlin was the type of social observer/critic I most wanted to emulate … but he was a celebrity, too. What if he turned out to be a true prick?

What I quickly discovered was that, in real life, George was, well, George. Far from a self-obsessed jerk, he was mild-mannered enough to be my Dad. He was as interested as he was interesting, well-read and polite to a fault—all while casually dropping F-bombs. But most impressive, he didn’t treat me like an audience member, eschewing actual conversation, electing instead to simply perform the whole meeting, more “on” than real. He talked to me like one of my friends would talk to me: familiar, unguarded, authentic.

I made three films with George over the course of the next six years, starting with “Dogma” and his portrayal of Cardinal Glick, the pontiff-publicist responsible for the Catholic Church’s recall of the standard crucifix in favor of the more congenial, bubbly “Buddy Christ.” A few years later, I wrote him a lead role in “Jersey Girl”—as Bart Trinke (or “Pop”), the father of Ben Affleck’s character. It called for a more dramatic performance than George was used to giving, but the man pulled it off happily and beautifully. (Something most folks probably don’t know about George: He took acting very seriously. The man was almost a Method actor.) Sadly, I consider that “Jersey Girl” part my one failing on George’s behalf, and not for the reasons most would assume (the movie was not reviewed kindly, to say the least). No, I failed because George had asked me to write a different role for him.

In 2001, George did me a solid when he accepted the part of the orally fixated hitchhiker who knew exactly how to get a ride in “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.” When he wrapped his scene in that flick, I thanked him for making the time, and he said, “Just do me a favor: Write me my dream role one day.” When I inquired what that’d be, he offered, “I wanna play a priest who strangles children.”

It was a classic Carlin thing to say: a little naughty and a lot honest. I always figured there’d be time to give George what he asked for. Unfortunately, he left too soon.

He was, and will likely remain, the smartest person I’ve ever met. But really, he was much more than just a person. Without a hint of hyperbole, I can say he was a god, a god who cussed.

George Carlin Dies

George Dennis Carlin, who died of heart failure Sunday at 71, will forever be remembered in the world of comedy and Hollywood.  He’s best known for his monolouges mocking religious hypocrisy, social and political humour, and those infamous seven words that can’t be said on television, which actually led to a Surpreme Court decision about broadcasting offensive language.

Apparently, George Carlin went into St. Johns Health Center in Santa Monica complaining of chest pain, according to his publicist Jon Abraham.  Just before Christmas 2005, he experienced significant shortage of breath and other heart-related symptoms. On Christmas Day he entered Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Beverly Hills. During an eight-day stay he was treated for a lung infection and narrowed arteries. He received antibiotics and an angioplasty that included the placement of a double stent. The procedure was successful, but he was advised to take things slowly in the New Year.   Even with this history of heart trouble, his death was unexpected as he had even performed as recently as last weekend in Las Vegas. 

He was an Irish Catholic born and raised in the Morningside Heights neighborhood of New York City, Carlin started out as a conventional comedian and had achieved a fair degree of success.  While in the Air Force he started working as an off-base disc jockey at a radio station in Shreveport, La., and after receiving a general discharge in 1957, took an announcing job at WEZE in Boston.  He became the first host ever on Saturday Night Live in 1975.  He produced 23 comedy albums, 14 HBO specials, three books, a few TV shows and appeared in several movies, including Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back and Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.  He was even known for appearing in childrens films like Thomas The Tank and the voice of Fillmore in Pixar’s Cars.  Carlin won four Grammy Awards for best spoken comedy album and was nominated for five Emmys.  Carlin was also inducted to the Comedy Hall Of Fame in 1994.

Carlin’s way of describing death in America:

Older’ sounds a little better than ‘old,’ doesn’t it?,” he said. “Sounds like it might even last a little longer. … I’m getting old. And it’s OK. Because thanks to our fear of death in this country I won’t have to die, I’ll ‘pass away.’ Or I’ll ‘expire,’ like a magazine subscription. If it happens in the hospital they’ll call it a ‘terminal episode.’ The insurance company will refer to it as ‘negative patient care outcome.’ And if it’s the result of malpractice they’ll say it was a ‘therapeutic misadventure.

I hope to remember him through laughter rather than tears.  Here’s George Carlin On Death:

 

Semi-Pro Bear Kills Trainer

The 7 and a 1/2 foot, seven hundred pound Grizzly Bear named Rocky that had a cameo in the recent comedy Semi-Pro starring Will Ferell mauled his trainer to death on Tuesday.  Rocky was being put through obedience training in Big Bear, California when the incident occured.  There are tapes being reviewed to determine whether the incident was an accident or not.  Rocky will be euthanized if it was considered intentional.

Many wild animals that have either been born into captivity or saved and acclimated to it are still considered dangerous and this incident proves why.  No matter how much these creatures love and adore their human companions, they still have the native instinct of a wild animal.  Bears in particular are noted for this trait of unpredictability.   Even Siegfried and Roy had an accident with one of their Tigers, and though it wasn’t the fault of the animal, a massive injury was the result.  There is no doubt these animals love their owners, but nonetheless it simply isn’t natural for a wild animal to be held captive, and so long as they are, be it for their well being alone or not, these kinds of accidents will continue to happen.  It’s a real shame considering the trainers of these animals suffers injuries and even death like Stephan Miller, from the animals that they loved so dearly and dedicated so much of their lives to.

Tag is Outlawed!

That’s right.  In a time where keeping score is no longer necessary and everyone makes the team in Little League, and to help harbor the ”gentle” psych of children, political correctness has now expanded to recess.  Dodgeball has been eliminated from schools all over because it’s considered  too violent, but the reason behind Tag being banned from some Massachusetts schools is because some kids will feel left out?  Who are we kidding?  It’s no wonder kids these days are so reliant on their parents!  It’s no wonder it’s completely acceptable to move back home or stay there until the age of thirty.  It’s no shock grandparents and daycare’s are predominantly raising the children of today instead of the parents who are too busy focusing on their careers or still going to the bar every weekend because they still have the mentality of an adolescent.  The word of the decade is “coddle.”

This generation and some following after have lost the ability to think for themselves.  No one has a voice anymore, because there is nothing but grown up children walking around looking to their parents for direction, or what the politically correct news says they should think instead of doing it for themselves.  Why has this happened?  Because of banning games like tag.  Because of forgetting to keep score.  it sounds trite, but think about it.  In attempting to shelter kids and soften them instead of teaching them to be vigorous independent thinkers and preparing them for the real world, we are molding a sense of personality that requires them to be dependent and afraid.  This epidemic starts at a young age when the morals and ideals about life and instilled in children, and coddling at a young age does not prepare them for the adult world that is cutthroat.

It’s okay to protect our children.  It’s our nature, but this is nearly abuse in my opinion.  The adults of today need to grow up and stop relying on their parents for everything because they are modeling that same behavior to their children who in a world where “tag” is an unnacceptable game, they need to strong voice and strong image to show them how to be independant.  Yes, how to fight!  How to defend yourself.  How to perservere!  It says a lot more to say keeping a score is wrong, than trying to win the game.  Try to win.  A healthy competiveness is good.  You need that in school and college and life to succeed.

Here is the article I read from the Los Angelas Times that evoked this rant.  Life is getting more and more outrageous everyday.  Those that can’t or don’t think for themselves are afraid of those that do, and unfortunately are too lazy because they aren’t competitive enough to stand up and think for themselves.  When my kids are old enough the first movie I’m going to sit them down to watch is Dead Poets Society and show them what true inspiration and independence and creativity is about.  God, by then I may be one of those crazy hippies that’s homeschooling.  At least then, they’ll get to play normal children’s games.

In the words of Maynard Keenan James:

Think for yourself, question authority.